Happy birthday to me

Another year spent. Reminded to number my days. I want to live each moment for something bigger than myself. I want my life to honor my God. He gave meaning to my hopeless soul. He gave me joy and now I love life. Thank you father for your Redemption. 

Up Calvary's mountain one dreadful morn
Walked Christ my Savior, weary and worn
Facing for sinners, death on the cross
That He might save them from endless loss

Blessed Redeemer, precious Redeemer
Seems now I see Him on Calvary's tree
Wounded and bleeding, for sinners pleading
Blind and unheeding, dying for me

"Father, forgive them," my Savior prayed
Even while His lifeblood flowed fast away
Praying for sinners while in such woe
No one but Jesus ever loved so

Blessed Redeemer, precious Redeemer
Seems now I see Him on Calvary's tree
Wounded and bleeding, for sinners pleading
Blind and unheeding, dying for me
Dying for me

Blessed Redeemer, precious Redeemer
Seems now I see Him on Calvary's tree
Wounded and bleeding, for sinners pleading
Blind and unheeding, dying for me

Oh, how I love Him, Savior and Friend
How can my praises ever find end?
Through years unnumbered on Heaven's shore
My songs shall praise Him forevermore

Blessed Redeemer, precious Redeemer
Seems now I see Him on Calvary's tree
Wounded and bleeding, for sinners pleading
Blind and unheeding, dying for me

Blessed Redeemer, precious Redeemer
Seems now I see Him on Calvary's tree
Wounded and bleeding, for sinners pleading
Blind and unheeding, dying for me

-Casting Crowns

To know You

To know you is never worry for my life, and 
To know you is to never to give in or compromise 
To know you is to want to tell the world about you 
Cause I can't live without you 

To know you is to hear your voice when you are calling 
To know you is to catch my brother when he is falling 
To know you is to feel the pain of the broken hearted 
Cause they can't live with out you. 

More than my next breath 
More than life or death 
All reaching for, I live my life to know you more 
I leave it all behind, you are all that satisfies 
To know you is to want to know you more 
To know you is to want to know you more 

To know you is to ache for more than ordinary 
To know you is to look beyond the temporary 
To know you is believing that you will be enough 
Cause there is no life without you 

More than my next breath 
More than life or death 
All I'm reaching for, I live my life to know you more 
I leave it all behind, you are all that satisfies 
To know you is to want to know you more 
To know you is to want to know you more 

All this life could offer me, could not compare to you 
Compare to you 
And I count it all as lost, compared to knowing you 
Knowing you 

More than my next breath 
More than life or death 
All I'm reaching for, I live my life to know you more 
I leave it all behind, you are all that satisfies 
To know you is to want to know you more 
To know you is to want to know you more 

to know you by casting crowns

My King

By Dr. S.M. Lockridge

The Bible says my King is a seven-way king....He's the King of the Jews; that's a racial king....He's the King of Israel; that's a national King....He's the King of Righteousness....He's the King of the Ages.....He's the King of Heaven....He's the King of Glory....He's the King of kings, and He's the Lord of lords. That's my King. Well....I wonder, do you know Him?.... David said, "The Heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament shows His handiwork. My King is a sovereign King. No means of measure can define His limitless love. No far seeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of His shoreless supply. No barrier can hinder Him from pouring out His blessings. He's enduringly strong....He's entirely sincere....He's eternally steadfast....He's immortally graceful....He's imperially powerful....He's impartially merciful....... Do you know Him?

He's the greatest phenomenon that ever crossed the horizon of this world. He's God's Son....He's a sinner's Saviour....He's the centerpiece of civilization....He stands in the solitude of Himself....He's august....He's unique....He's unparalleled....He's unprecedented....He's the loftiest idea in literature....He's the highest personality in philosophy....He's the supreme problem in higher criticism....He's the fundamental doctrine of true theology....He's the cardinal necessity for spiritual religion....He's the miracle of the age.... He's the superlative of everything good that you choose to call Him....He's the only one qualified to be an all sufficient Saviour...... I wonder if you know Him today?

He supplies strength for the weak....He's available for the tempted and the tried....He sympathizes and He saves....He strengthens and sustains....He guards and He guides....He heals the sick....He cleanses lepers....He forgives sinners....He discharges debtors....He delivers captives....He defends the feeble....He blesses the young....He serves the unfortunate....He regards the aged....He rewards the diligent....and He beautifies the meek....... I wonder if you know Him?

Well, my King....is the King....He's the key to knowledge....He's the wellspring to wisdom....He's the doorway of deliverance....He's the pathway of peace....He's the roadway of righteousness ....He's the highway of holiness....He's the gateway of glory....... Do you know Him?

Well....His office is manifold....His promise is sure....His light is matchless....His goodness is limitless....His mercy is everlasting....His love never changes....His word is enough....His grace is sufficient....His reign is righteous....and His yoke is easy, and his burden is light. I wish I could describe Him to you, but He's indescribable....He's incomprehensible....He's invincible....He's irresistible.

Well, you can't get Him out of your mind....You can't get Him off of your hand....You can't out live Him, and you can't live without Him....The Pharisees couldn't stand Him, but they found out they couldn't stop Him....Pilate couldn't find any fault in Him....The witnesses couldn't get their testimonies to agree....Herod couldn't kill Him....Death couldn't handle Him, and the grave couldn't hold Him. Yea!!!, that's my King, that's my King.

Father..."Thine is the Kingdom....and the Power....and the Glory....Forever"....and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever. How long is that? And ever...and ever...and when you get through with all the forevers, then.... AMEN!....AMEN!

Did you ever loose your Mom at Wallmart?

When I was even more a kid than I am now, maybe 6 or 7 yrs old; I lost Mom at Wallmart. I was following her around, watching her do her shopping, looking at all the cool things she wasn't buying. I would wander a little to look at stuff, but of course I always knew right where Mom was. I am still trying to figure out what happened that day. Somehow I must have gone a little too far, because when I come around that corner and Mom was no longer there, I will never forget the feeling of surprise and maybe just a tinge of worry that came over me. But okay, I was a brave kid, I could handle this, after all she probably just moved  to the next aisle. I think I may even have had a vain sense of freedom as I calmly walked that quarter mile aisle. But my apprehension grew when aisle after aisle and miles of walking failed to bring me back to my Mom. I began to size  up my situation, how was I going to find Mom through all these millions of people in huge store (probably several hundred square miles) with countless aisles, departments and stores. My original worry was seeping into fear, I no longer looked at the items on the shelves and I picked up the pace into a jog (my mathematical brain told me I could cover more ground at a jog and thus reduce the time it would take to find Mom). I guess the faster pace must have provoked faster thinking because the friendly people around began to look frightfully strange, and why were they all looking at me, wasn't it normal for people to go jogging in Wallmart. The air seemed to lack its normal supply of oxygen and I thought I was going to suffocate. A quick assesment of my mental stamina told me I nearing panic and this was now a race against time. The horror that began to settle on me is one too terrible to describe, but I began to wonder how I was going  to survive on the streets and if they would miss me or did they care? I could no longer breath at all and my mouth was so dry I tried to lick the tears mow running down my face along with the runny nose. I guess thats because I was now at a full sprint. I figured I must have covered at least half the store but judging by how many times I had passed the pharmacy I may have been going in circles; or maybe this was my third time around the entire store. Wow, I am beginning to work up a panic just writing about this, why are my figures shaking as I type?

But then...wait no, oh crap I thought that was her sweater. I raced on, loosing hope...the tears came faster...is that Donald, again no. At last I espied my little sister, and oh the relief that came over me. I found them, I found them, I found them. As I came up, I wiped my face on my sleeve and although it took a while for heart rate to drop and my eyes to reduce to their normal size, to be honest I doubt that my Mom even noticed my absence. Little did she know of the life changing event that had happened to her son. I tell this story for a reason, because it reflect upon my current life.

I have not been in contact with many of you for the last two years and for that I am ashamed. My life has gone well, while many setbacks have come in various sorts, some would say that my plans are all working out. I have been blessed, whether for any good in me or for the prayers of those that love me I don't know, but God has been very good to me. I graduated from ALERT Paramedic school in May 2009, and then was able to pass the National Registry for Paramedics allowing me to work in Pennsylvania. I went back to ALERT to finish a leadership internship and came home for good in November 2009. I worked hanging drywall while I applied to several Emergency Medical Service Agencies, and now God has blessed me with my dream job. Staff Paramedic for West Shore EMS.  Yet my feelings are mixed , I used to be so confident, I used to know who I was and what I stood for. Now I'm lost. I wonder who I am, I realize now how much I really didn't know when I was 17. I wonder at the future. And then there is the God who has been so good to me. I have chosen to believe in Him and stake my life on His promises. but I feel lost, the same way I felt back in Wallmart, I have wandered away from my Father and now I can't find His side again. At first I wasn't worried, I thought I could make it and go back whenever I wanted to, but now I'm scared, I can't find His side. I feel very lost. I don't know why I am posting this on the internet but this xanga and no one ever checks xanga any more anyway. But if you do read this please pray for me.

Isn't it strange that we only seek God when we are desperate for Him. But then we only drink water when we are thirty. I believe that trials make us stronger, but do you ever come out better off for wandering?

I'll be home for Christmas

Its awesome to be home. I never realsized how much my family and freinds meant to me until I am gone for awhile. Six whole weeks before I go back to Texas. I have one more semester of Paramedics. Its going well and I love it. IVs, EKGs, Intubation, drugs, needles, its just awesome. And sirens too. Yeah.

Everyday has been an adventure with God. Life is so awesomely full of awesomness. Everyday I learn, and the next day I apply. I'm learning to chase God. Talk about extreme. Its like sticking your neck out and letting people hit at your face. But then its like walking on water all at the same time. Did that make sence?

Miss all you guys,

God Bless